“Burning in the Bosom” there when you need it, gone when you don’t

As a youth, I was fascinated by Mormon History.  I began studying it on the Internet only to find out about several controversies: Adam-God, Blood Atonement, Polyandry,  and Racism.

As I was learning about Mormon History, I had friends in high school who were Protestant Christians who always told me that I was going to hell because I had the wrong Jesus.

I was very concerned that they were potentially right and the church was potentially wrong.  After all, there were so many controversies in its history! I was scared that I was on my way to hell!

One day while walking home from school, I thought to myself: “if God wants me to become a Protestant Christian, he should tell me.”

I ran into my room and I prayed about which Church I should join.  I felt an enormous comfort overcome me.  I had a “burning in the bosom.”  In my mind I “knew” that I was in the right Church.

At that time, I really wanted Mormonism to be true.  I loved every bit of it and I didn’t want to split up my family.  I clutched that experience desperately as validation for what I believed.   I brushed off any evidence that the Church might be false by telling myself “I know it’s true.”

When I was a missionary, I realized that I could never be happy married to a woman.  I wanted a man! When I no longer “wanted” that burning in the Bosom, I finally realized that the experience I had didn’t necessarily mean that Mormonism was true.  After all, I cried when I watched the Lord of the Rings.  Oh my Gosh! Tolkein must be a true prophet!

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